In college I learned all about Early Childhood Development and Education and my major was Psychology. I was an Early Intervention Specialist for over three years before transitioning to my new position and I still cant wrap my head around my own toddler's acting out. Emma Kate has gotten to the point where she is very strong-willed. She wants what she wants when she wants it. That may sound familiar because I think both Jerry and I are like that. The problem is learning the balance between telling her and not making her feel bad about it. I see that little face of hers when I say "No Emma Kate you cannot do that," and it tears me apart. I am stern and sometimes when I am she cries. It really breaks my heart. I dont want to raise a brat and I want my child to know right from wrong, but I guess right now I am struggling with the right way to do it.
What are you doing to train your toddler the right ways of doing things?
Proverbs 22:6 "Train your child on the way they should go,
and even when they are old they will not turn from it."
2 comments:
We are having similar issues with Lucas. He gets extremely sensitive when we tell him no. I've found that if we just redirect his attention to something else, he usually forgets.
I know this seems mean, too, but sometimes if his sad face turns to a cry, I tell him he needs to calm down, then I count to 3. If he hasn't calmed down, he has to go to his "corner" until he stops crying. He usually stops immediately or within 30 seconds of being in the corner. Then, he has forgotten what he wanted!
I think as a parent, it is important to know the handful of things that you will not tolerate and be sure to enforce your rules about them consistently. She will still love you even if you are firm with her. You have to be firm sometimes! It is the part of the job description that stinks!!
It also helps to keep in perspective that all those things that seem "defiant" are actually a normal part of her development. If she wasn't doing those things, you'd need to be more concerned. Keeping that perspective has helped me a million times with Lucas. The toddler's job is to figure out this world, the parent's job is to set up the boundaries!
Good luck!
If Audrey gets upset when we say no, we distract her with other things, like a song or tickling her. Or we change the subject ("Hey, where did we put Mickey and Minnie? I bet they'd like to play in your car!" etc.)
I've found that reasoning works, too. Whenever I tell her no, I have her repeat back to me, "Ok, mom." Just today while grocery shopping she ran out of juice and gummies. She asked for more but I just told her, "We're going to get more when we go home, ok?" And she immediately said, "Ok, mom!" And she was surprisingly fine (even when we walked down the juice and gummy aisle, lol.)
I'm no expert, but those strategies have worked best. She never throws tantrums when we distract or try reasoning. I think it's awesome that you're setting boundaries and sticking to them, you're a great mom and Emma Kate will be just fine!
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