I have had the worst trouble for the first time in almost 6 months with getting Emma Kate to stay asleep once she is asleep and to refrain from waking all throughout the night. I dont know what is going on. I am not getting much sleep, am exhausted at work, exhausted on the weekends and just struggling to get by each day. I love my little girl more than anything on earth, but I am so tired and am at my breaking point with figuring all this sleep out. She has been sleeping through the night since she was 6 weeks old. She would wake up here and there and would go through growth spurts and would need to eat and I know I got lucky, but I am having a hard time with this now. So, tonight, I let her cry herself to sleep and I am still in tears just trying to figure out if I would rather have no sleep than go through the misery I just put both Emma Kate and myself through. Then when I turned on the monitor to check on her, she had two little puddles of tears on her face. This has really just broken my heart. I dont know what to do, but I certainly am not sure that I can take that either. Someone please help and give me some suggestions. I have to go get some work done now, but all comments are appreciated!
**Update** She woke up about three more times and is now asleep an hour later and I am still so miserable. Basically, I am just letting her cry it out, but for what exactly? So she thinks that her mommy wont come help her? I just dont get the CIO method?!
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Ugh, my heart is breaking for YOU!! You know we've done Ferber, and I'd recommend that. Could she be going through her 6 mo growth spurt? Audrey is, and the only reason I know that is b/c I KNOW she can put herself back to sleep when she wakes. If she doesn't put herself back to sleep, it's b/c she needs something.
I would try Ferber before you straight let her CIO. Put her down drowsy but awake. Let her fuss for 3 minutes. After 3 minutes, go in and soothe her, don't pick her up. Then leave and let her fuss for 5 minutes. Then 10 minutes. Don't wait any longer than 10 minutes the first night. Chances are, she'll be fast asleep before you need a 10 minute check. Make sure she's had plenty of food before you put her down for the night or before a nap (you have to Ferber naps, too!)
Day 2 the wait times are longer (7 minutes at first, 112, 18 I think?) You can totally change the wait time, just make sure the times get progressively longer. Audrey caught on very quick, like most babies. Let me know if you need any more help!!!
We did CIO with ours too, around 6 months. The first few nights were tough, but by night 3 or 4, they would go down without a fuss! Hang in there, I promise it will get better!
Jenn, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I can totally relate. It was so hard when Randi went through this stage, but you’re not going to like what I am going to say. After speaking with Randi’s Dr, she said that we needed to let her cry herself back to sleep. The reason for this is to teach her that she can do things on her own and so that she wasn’t so dependent on us. First let me say that Randi has two different cries. One that says I’m hurt or I need something and one that says I want to play or I’m not getting my way. If Jamie or I ever heard her I’m hurt cry we would go get her, but if it was her I want to play cry we left her alone. It was so hard and I cried for about a week, but she eventually figured it out and after a few minutes would fall asleep. I know this is something you don’t want to do, but it worked out well for us. Randi still cries at night when we put her down, but it’s not her I’m hurt or need something cry. Its her I’m not getting my way cry.
Once Randi figured out how to sleep through the night she started getting up at 5am. We called the Dr to see what we can do and she told us to turn the monitor off when she wakes up and to not get her up until we were ready for her to wake up. At first Randi would cry, but after a couple days she would put herself back to sleep and sleep for another two hours or so. Some morning she wakes herself up and will play with her monkey in her crib for an hour or so until we go get her. I know this might be difficult for you as well, but it also worked for us.
I am so sorry you're having to go through this. We didn't try strict Ferber but hear it works. We did a combo of CIO, Ferber, and MOST Nanny Jo (ha!) We were pretty lucky with both (I know!) but we would let them CIO for a few minutes (the longest has been 15 but she was older ) and I can honestly say we've never gone back in. I know, we're lucky but I think you have to do what is right for you and her. I do think she needs to learn to put herself to sleep at some point. And YOU need your rest. I know it may be hard to do in the beginning but you can't keep up the way you're going. I think it is a gspurt so hopefully it passes soon!
Hey Jenn,
I'm right there with you! Lucas was doing SO well, and we even did a loose version of Ferber with him. For two solid months he slept through the night and now all of a sudden, he is up every hour on the hour! My heart was breaking to hear him cry so I kept going in there to him. Two nights ago, I was so exhausted that I just let him cry, and amazingly, he put himself back to sleep every time! Last night, he slept through the night again.
I'll be happy to talk to you more via e-mail, but I will tell you that you are momma and you know. When we did Ferber, Lucas got more angry when we'd enter the room at the check periods. It was heartwrenching, so instead of checking on him at those intervals, we just let him cry. He has been able to soothe himself every time.
But, when my gut says he needs me, I go. You have to let them learn to soothe themselves, but like I said, you are momma! If you feel in your gut that there is something more that is the matter and she needs you, then go get her. But then again, if you know there isn't anything wrong, give her a chance to work it out.
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